.262 Sula Mpande

When I first met Sula, two things were immediately clear to me. The first was that he was strongly rooted in his morals, values, and knowledge of himself, yet with a hopeful layer of openness to learning and growing as a human being. The second was that he made my sister happier than I had ever seen her. Both of these were obvious signals that my life would be changed for the better by having him in mine.

Years later, and now with him as my brother-in-law, Sula constantly challenges me, indirectly (and certainly directly), to expand my own mind and to push myself when it comes to strength, perspective, and honesty. He betters me of course through dialogue and conversation, but it’s more so simply through his existence. That’s the thing about Sula — he practices what he preaches and he walks the walk. You won’t meet anyone as tenacious, tough, straightforward, and ambitious as Sula. He’s incredibly intelligent and always willing to listen and learn. He’s not afraid to disagree and might just be the one person in your life who calls you on your bullshit. One of my favorite things about Sula is how self-aware he is. He’s a machine when it comes to learning from his own mistakes, being real with himself, and recognizing the beauty and power of listening and making space for others. It’s become something I really admire about him, and I always in awe of how consistent he is with growth and movement.

As my sister’s husband, Sula is now family and with that comes a different level of trust and loyalty. With Sula, however, that standard of deep loyalty and respect was always there from the beginning. He has high standards for those around him because he sets even higher ones for himself. He believes in what he does and who he loves and he dedicates so much of his time to making the one life he has the best and most meaningful one possible. He is a true protector and confidante for my sister and he has constantly proved to be a source of learning, laughter and joy for me. His patience and diligence are unmatched and I am forever grateful for how he has impacted my life since the day we met.

Sula, thank you for always being open to listening and explaining things to me. Thank you for supporting me as a gay man and for being so welcoming to Alejandro as well. Thank you for your stories and perspective and thank you for showing me and my family a window in many things that we otherwise wouldn’t think or know about. Thank you for being so stoic and humble in your past, present and future, and thank you for letting me ask so many questions and for your patience throughout them. Thank you for helping me get stronger in my own journey of sensitivity and defensiveness, and thank you for always being there for me no matter what. Thank you for the care and love you show my sister and that is inspiring to so many of those around you, myself included. Thank you for keeping me on my toes and for never sacrificing your morals or values in the face of discomfort or danger. Thank you for your standing up for what’s right and for those you care so deeply about. Thank you for easily the most epic bachelor party in history, but in all seriousness, thank you for showing us that side of your life and the care, detail and effort you put into that weekend. I’m truly grateful to call you family and especially for the fact that I know I can call upon you for anything. Thank you for taking the time the other day for us to chat on the phone. Thank you for being someone I continually learn from. Thank you, Sula, for being you.

-BD