.338 | to my grandmother, from Cloe Shasha Brooks

To my grandmother.

Thank you for showing me what it means to be resilient in the face of chaos. For modeling what it means to quietly get things done without talking about them. And for showing your grandchildren so much love and acceptance despite the pain and rejection you experienced as a child.

Thank you for showing me how to break just the right amount of rules. And how to make things work when there are no guidelines. For showing me that being an immigrant doesn't mean being an outsider. And that it also doesn't mean fully assimilating and losing our culture, even two generations later.

Thank you for the love that you shared with all of us through Middle Eastern food. For the meatball stews, the crispy rice, the okra, the roasted apricots, the herbs, the pickled mango. For passing on those recipes and intuitions to my mom and her siblings, so that eventually we can pass them on as well.

Thank you for teaching me about hospitality. About how building a home where anybody feels at home is the way to have a joyous life. About how the priority is people, not stuff. That if someone really loves an object that you have, it's probably worth giving it to them. And that Spray 'N Wash has many more cleaning functions than the bottle suggests.

Thank you for working so hard. Sometimes I wish you didn't have to work so hard. The lonely emotional labor in particular. I know it was not easy. You did so much so that your children and grandchildren would have an easier time in this life. You succeeded -- you've given us so much.

I will never take you for granted. I love you so, so much.

Cloe Shasha Brooks