.345 | to J, from Em

How were we to know, back then, what we had found in each other?
How do we know, now, what life may unfold before us?
Gratitude.

J, I'm so grateful for 9 years of life spent with you. I look back on us as teenagers, with only just enough confidence to say "I like you," so much naïveté as to say "I love you," and I am caught off guard by emotion. In that vision, I see you.

Then, you gave me validation that I desperately needed -- I was lovable, I was beautiful, I was an artist, I was a human. In your eyes I learned to see myself without the haziness of insecurity. I learned how to collaborate, how to make art just to make it. You taught me that I could live life with a partner and not live life for that partner. You gave me space, you gave me the chance to fall in love, you held my hand while I twisted and turned, trying to figure out who I was, insisting I already knew.

You either already knew, or you didn't care. That is steadfastness. Gratitude.

When partnership became untenable, unreachable, inhospitable, you had the foresight to step away. Not knowing, believing that I wouldn't share my life with you was unbelievably painful. I hated you for it. But it allowed us to grow, to become individuals in a way that long distance could not.

You knew that. Or maybe you just guessed. Either way, Gratitude.

Now, we are everything together. I get to laugh every single day with the person who knows me best. The same person who makes me breakfast snuggles in bed with me at night, prying me away from distraction to get a good night's sleep. You have taught me the beauty of life. Not in hard work or perseverance or productivity, but in joy, walking, cooking, playing with the cat. My life is richer because I get to spend it with you.

You know that. Or at least, now you do. I love you, and I am so grateful.
Happy Anniversary.