.360 | to my ancestors, from Jake Levin

The first gratitude is to Brian. I’m realizing in writing this that I don’t spend nearly as much time as I want expressing feelings of gratitude: thinking of teachers, coworkers, friends, neighbors, family members, coworkers who’ve become friends. So, I’m taking a deep breath and appreciating the reminder this invitation has given me to express more gratitude. Thank you for your gift, Brian.

Right now I am feeling gratitude for my lineage: the ancestors that precede me, and the generations I hope to see come afterwards.

I know the facts of many of my recent ancestor’s lives. The who/what/where/when of their journey to the U.S. in the early 20th century, their jobs, their relations. But knowing the facts is different from knowing how they show up in you, with you, and travel through you.

I am grateful for the ways that the energy of my ancestors has shown up lately, and how they continue to teach and hold me. My 14 year old great-grandfather Alex snuck onto a ship heading to New York from Poland by himself in 1916, building a life and a family here and living until the wise age 98. I hold his independence and courage in my body.

My grandmother Ruth was a high school gym teacher for 40 years. Her husband Bertram, my grandfather and middle namesake, operated a summer camp, went into bankruptcy, and became a public sector attorney. My grandfather Abraham also led a summer camp after serving as a pilot in World War II. My nana, his wife, is the only elder I have left, and in the more active years of her retirement traveled extensively. My mother Abby is a social worker and a therapist, my father Michael is a chef and a teacher. I will never find the words to express the gratitude I feel for how they shaped my life. I am also grateful to my brother Noah, who isn't an ancestor but carries much of the same.

I am grateful for – and learning how to hold – the beauty and strength in this lineage, while also making room in my body and relationships to hold and work through history and trauma that hasn’t been processed. With any luck, these ancestors will help me metabolize some of these intergenerational vibes and pass on something healthy and wise to future generations.

They have all given me so much, and I carry pieces of each of them with me - failures, dreams, hopes, pain, successes. Thank you for coming before.