.361 | to my fathers, from Bridgette

As I sit in reflection of the 10th anniversary of my father’s passing, I think about all he has influenced in my life. From his love of travel to his ideas about my future, to his hobbies which left their influence in me, I feel so thankful to him for how he shaped my learning and growth. Though our relationship wasn’t always easy, there are many gifts it brought to my life.

Every other Saturday he’d take me with him to Sergeant’s, a local gardening store, to get what was needed to care for the lawn and for landscaping his garden. With this, he gifted me a love of gardening, nature, and finding that putting my fingers in dirt is a great way to ground myself.

He took me to my first live concert when I was 11 (Neil Diamond), gave me my first cassette tape at 13 (M.C. Hammer), and bought me my first stereo and my CD when I was 16 (U2’s Rattle and Hum). That not only fostered my love of music, but it helped me find music as a way to center myself and unwind, and inspired the love of my favorite band, U2. I’m guessing he never would have guessed that those little discs would have inspired me to find some moments of great joy in my life – being front and center at live U2 concerts.  The joy this has brought me in life cannot be measured.

With annual trips to Valley Fair, Minnesota’s equivalent to Six Flags, and a trip with he and my brother portaging all the supplies we needed for a week’s camping trip in the Boundary Waters (lakes that border the Minnesota/Canada border), he gifted me a love for adventure, while deepening my love for nature, and building a belief in my own strength. He also inspired a love for the thrill of the rollercoaster, and helped me find the peace that nature brings.

He wanted me to be a be an Engineer or pursue a career in IT. As I got closer to choosing colleges, we’d talk about what careers I found interesting. He wanted me to be an engineer or to work in IT – “that’s where you’ll be able to make money to take care of yourself”.  “But I like working with people, Dad….” And that was the start of my path to finding social work as a major in college.  This eventually led me to where I’ve found my greatest joy professionally – working to remove institutional barriers and support the success of systemically marginalized students.

I’ve been fortunate to experience the love of two fathers in my life - the other being love from my father-in-law. For over 20 years, Dave has profoundly influenced my understanding of what it means to be a family, how to care for your partner and spouse, how to forgive, the importance of being silly, and the difference a little humor can make in any given moment.  He has no idea what joy he brings to the family, just by being him. He doesn’t realize that he is the light that keeps this family going. He doesn’t know how much his silliness and overused Dad jokes actually do make us experience unfiltered joy.  So, I say thank you to him now, while he is still with us, so he knows we do not take him for granted. We have been so grateful for every additional moment we’ve gotten with him, ever since we found out about his stage four cancer diagnosis in May of 2020. We honor that by spending as much time as we can with him. We all love you and hope we make you proud.

To both my fathers – thank you for all you have taught me – what you meant to teach me and what you taught me just by being you.  I am a better person because of it.

All my love,

Bridgette