.289 | to Brian M., from Jose

Making friends in your 30's is hard. Brian made it very easy.

How we met? Somehow via 3 different channels of social media. Myself being brand spanking new to LA in early 2021 with like 1 friend, I joined a gay gamers (gaymers, if you will) Facebook group "LA Gaymers Society" (LAGS) to find some like-minded people in hopes of eventually making friends once things are opened up a bit more post-COVID. Brian manages comms for them and also runs their Twitch channel, so I joined one of the streams he advertised.

I remember laughing and commenting along, as he tried to woo some girl in Fire Emblem who was into birds. I remember thinking to myself "I like this guy's vibe." and at one point he responded to my comments and told me to join LAGS, to which I replied that I already did and that's how I found my way to this stream in the first place! Once the stream ended I decided to follow him on Instagram and he followed me back.

He posted some story about getting a counter-top dishwasher with a big ass Hello Kitty sticker on it, so of course I had to send over a compliment. We start chatting and after a few days of back and forth banter via insta stories and gifs, I asked if he would like to hang out sometime. He said he was free that very afternoon and so was I, so we made a plan to hang at his place which has a cute outdoor patio. I was surprised considering where we were at in the pandemic and I truly had seen only a handful of people face to face, and just happy for at least some kind of human interaction in this new city.

I get there in the late afternoon. We have drinks, his dog sits on my lap, and we're totally vibing. Same dumb interests in anime & gaming, similar shit-talking attitude and can dish out sarcastic jokes. He's a cute guy and we were definitely geling, so in the back of my mind I kept thinking...is this a date? Cut to like, maybe 5 hours later, the sun had been set, and we were still hanging. In dating and otherwise I've decided to be more honest and upfront about my intentions, so I just ask him outright "is this a date?". He answers and confirms my same feeling by saying "We're just vibing I think, we don't have to call it anything".

Ever since then, he's been a go-to for hanging out. And one night after hanging consistently at least like once a week for a month or so, we have a solid heart-to-heart about "finding your people". And yes we were quite a few drinks in haha, but it was the truth that I found "my people" in Brian and he felt the same. You know when it's just easy? You don't have to think about it, you're on the same page, honest about your feelings, and someone just gets you? That's been Brian. We gushed about all the things we like about each other. Then Brian asked me to "read" him and I called out some things I found questionable or unsure of, which unlayered more open conversation.

I had really been missing my friends in NY. Sometimes fully regretting my decision to move to California. Brian helped me feel a lot less lonely. All this to say, I am so so grateful for the friendship I've gained. Even if it ends tomorrow, he's given me some of my favorite nights in this city so far. And I'm excited for more to come. Cheers to you, bitch.