.327 | to colleagues and battle buddies, from Sula

My gratitude goes to those friends lost in the Afghan/Iraq war, whether during or after. Watching the impromptu withdrawal from Afghanistan and subsequent rapid reinstatement of the Taliban has pushed thoughts of what occurred out there closer to the surface than usual.

The aging effect of warfare is impossible to ignore - many of those I think of while writing this were as young as 19 years old at the time of their death. Thinking back to conversations with them, I can’t remember any childishness or naivety in their speech or conversation points. It would be easy to proclaim that their youth was taken, but those of us that have been there know it’s not that simple. I’ve always found myself describing entering that world being akin to the popping of a bubble. It gives you an insight into the rawest forms of human nature. You experience the most extreme versions of your emotions; fear, happiness, sadness, joy. You find out who you are, what you can do, and ultimately what sits hidden deep inside the human psyche. More importantly, the glaze of everyday life is permanently removed - it’s like you’ve had a peek into the real world.

Many of these friends joined as children but were catapulted into adulthood the moment they landed in their respective warzones. Many of them died either covering someone else’s duty or covering ground on behalf of those behind them.

They showed resolve, calmness, and courage in some of the most unbearable environments on the planet.

They complained incessantly about everything and anything they could, as any good British squaddy would.

They openly chastised those in charge of them who they thought weren’t up to standard, regardless of the consequences.

They created intangible narratives of the money they would make and the laziness they would display the moment they hung up their uniform.

They came out with the most offensive jokes about the most inappropriate things and viciously defended those that even tried to jab at their battle buddies.

These friends achieved something most people spend their whole life doing; they got the one job they always dreamed about and excelled at it.

There’s not a day I don’t wake up and think about all the things these friends achieved in the short time they had and the utterly immeasurable impact they had on the people around them. I feel so honored to have worked and lived with individuals I would consider legends. I would do anything to have them here to speak with and still can't bring myself to delete their messages from my phone. I’m not sure I could if I tried.

I’m grateful for having the opportunity to have known them and to have the memory of their existence with me to remind me of how lucky I am to be alive.

Thanks for the beers, laughter, and mentorship - I owe you one.