.053 Ashley Bahner

Ashley, or as I have called her forever, “Ms. Bahner,” was my high school counselor in San Diego. I don’t remember the exact moment that we met, but I do remember her always making me feel like I was the only student she was devoting her time to. This, of course, wasn’t true — she must have seen hundreds of students each year — but I can bet she made every one of those students feel the same exact way. She came at every student, story and situation with a toolbox full of compassion, kindness, clarity and patience.

I spent a lot of time in her office my senior year, expressing my dread and stress around the college application process and inevitable decision. She never once belittled my stress; instead, she helped me step by step through the process and did so with such a supportive tone and attitude. It was (and still is) so very clear that she loves her job, even despite the bad days/moments. When we spoke on the phone for this, she passionately described the solutions and opportunities that COVID has allowed for regarding CCA / her students, as opposed to lamenting about the awful state this year has put most things in. She’s positive, focused on the success of her students, and truly dedicated to her craft.

Ashley (goodness, still feels weird to say that!), thank you for being a transformative person in my life, at a crucial time in my life. Thank you for all of the important listening and understanding that you do with students and parents that might go un-thanked or unappreciated. Thank you for always looking out for me (us) and for helping us find the best path forward, whatever that means for each person. I’m so grateful for you and to have had you as a mentor and guide through that period in my life. Also, a massive thank you for never once making me feel that my coming out as a gay man was anything to be ashamed of or hide.

Thank you for all of the funny moments in your office dealing with FERPA and my silly jokes around virtually everything. Thank you for changing the lives of thousands of people. You are type of hero we should celebrate. Thank you for being you.